Journal your way to peace on your fertility journey

One of the lessons I learned on my fertility journey was that in order to heal, you must feel.

In my book, The Injustice of Infertility, where I share ALL of the lessons, I write –

“In order to heal, you must feel. And yes, that is so freaking difficult because the emotions and situations we’re dealing with are so enormous that we can’t even comprehend them most days. Because of that, your first reaction will be to bury your head in the sand and push the pain down inside you. You will focus on the next step, and the end goal to distract yourself from the devastation and anger you feel. Please don’t do this. When you start burying the pain, you lose the ability to feel. And if you don’t feel sadness, you won’t experience joy. You will think more and feel less. That will form a bad habit that will spread into every corner of your life. If you don’t feel, you won’t endure as much pain; however, you will be numb. And being numb is no way to live. You didn’t come this far only to live half a life. You deserve much more than that.”

Simple, right?  You just have to feel all of it.  Maybe not!

If you’re anything like me, you were taught when you were growing up that it wasn’t becoming to complain, that you should be grateful for what you have, in order to get what you want you just have to be positive, and most importantly, if you wanted to cry, you go to your room so no one has to witness your display of emotion.

Now all of a sudden you’re told to feel it, and let it all out. 

The truth is that I didn’t do any of that on my 7-year fertility journey.  I pushed it down for a number of reasons.

First and foremost, I was terrified of feeling it all.  I thought if I just let in a fraction of the pain I was feeling, it would swallow me whole and I wouldn’t be able to pull myself out of that black hole.  The truth is that you can feel it all and survive. In fact, all emotions were created with the intention that we feel them.

Secondly, I didn’t know HOW to feel it or process it, in a way that felt safe for me.

I have since discovered a way you can let it all out, and all it requires is a pen and paper.

JOURNALING.

Now if the thought of journaling makes you a little uneasy, you're not alone. I was a little apprehensive at first too. Now I swear by it!!

Angry and frustrated? Trouble sleeping? Overthinking? Can't make a decision?

My solution for each of these...…..JOURNALING!

So what is it and why is it so effective?

Journaling is the process of pausing to recognise the thoughts inside our head. Goals, hopes, dreams, fears, concerns, frustration. It gives us the ability to organise our thoughts and enhances emotional breakthrough's.

Using journaling as a daily practice allows us to create a safe, non-judgmental space for us to acknowledge and release feelings and process circumstances.

Once you hit pen to paper and get into a rhythm, it can be one of the most therapeutic and meditative practices.

Journaling is an individual practice - there are no rules, right way or wrong way. EVERYONE does it differently. Just find something that feels comfortable for you.

If you're having trouble or aren't sure where to start, ask a question or start with a prompt.

These are some of my favourites –

How am I feeling today?
What do I need to let go of today?
What do I need to focus on today?
If I knew I couldn't fail, I would...…...
If money wasn't an object, I would......
If I could go back to the beginning of this journey, what would I tell myself?

Notice the patterns - if something keeps coming up, explore it a little deeper.

Morning Journaling

This can be included in your morning routine and used to set goals or intentions for the day. Or it can be a complete mind dump of thoughts.

Evening Journaling

Reviewing and releasing the days experience is very beneficial prior to sleep. It will enable the thoughts running through your head an outlet, rather than them keeping you awake as soon as your head hits the pillow. Your journal is a way to exhale the emotions of the day into a safe unguarded space leaving you feeling lighter.

More than anything, let the words flow - they don't have to be perfect, or make sense. Remember, this book will never be read by anyone but you. You're not publishing a novel.  Journaling is not about finding perfection.  It’s about finding peace.

And if you’d like to find a little more peace on your fertility journey, the doors to THE LIGHTHOUSE PROJECT are now open.  4 weeks to a calmer and more in-control you.  Self-paced, affordable and a no-nonsense approach to get you closer to your baby.  Learn more HERE.